How and Where to Find Professional Grief Counseling

This page is dedicated to helping you understand what the various options are and how you might begin to find someone that works for you.   Finding someone who will help you is very personal and specific to your individual needs.  A general marriage counselor may not be the right person for you.  It really does take some effort on your part to interview them in advance, or at your first meeting to understand if they have dealt with suicide loss before or if they have any specialized bereavement training.  It is not uncommon for people to go through 2-3 counselors before they find someone that they feel comfortable with.  You will know within the first few minutes if this is the right person for you or not, trust your gut.  Please don't be turned off if the first 1-2 people you speak with are the wrong people, think of it like a test drive.  You need to find the counselor that fits your needs best.  There is help out there for you!

What type of in-person grief counseling is available?

• Finding a Mental Health Professional Guide

  • Resource: 13 page pamphlet 

  • Summary: From the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance is a great place to begin.  It discusses the different types of clinical professionals, the types of questions you need to ask to help you identify what your needs are.

• Finding Grief Support That Is Right For You 

  • Resource: Blog Posting

  • Summary: Reaching out to others is often very difficult when we’re struggling with grief, but experience teaches us that the more support and understanding we have around us, the better we will cope. You may wish that friends, family and co-workers would just “be there” for you without your having to ask, but that’s not likely to happen. It’s not that these people are uncaring; there simply is no way for them to fully understand the significance of your loss and the depth of your pain. Unfortunately your friends, family members and co-workers may not fully understand or appreciate the attachment you have with the one who has died and the pain you may still be feeling weeks and months after the death. What is more, your need to talk about your loss may outlast the willingness of others to listen. 

• How to Find a Therapist

  • Resource: 4 page PDF

• How to Decide Between Seeing a Therapist or a Counselor

  • Resource: Webpage

• Are You Reluctant to Seek Grief Counseling? 

  • Resource: Blog Posting

• Six Reasons Mourners Don't Ask For Help  

  • Resource: Blog Posting

• 25 Benefits of Talking

  • Resource: 3 page PDF

Specialized Suicide Grief Counseling

There are certain counselors who have unique training to help people deal with the trauma associated with the grief that comes from the suicide loss of someone close to you.  There are several lists of counselors that might help you to start your search for counseling.  We can not specifically recommend someone for you, you need to find the right person for your needs.  Everyone grieves differently.

• • American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) trained counselors  have taken specialized suicide loss bereavement training through the AFSP (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention).  These counselors have taken training to help them better understand what is unique and the complexities of losing someone to suicide.

  • EMDR trained counselors who are trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing) which is a technique used for trauma patients to help cope with difficult memories. EMDR trained professionals specialize in helping victims of trauma to help cope with the memories and the impact that it has had in their life.  Some suicide loss survivors report that this is a good technique to help stop the recurring visions and nightmares of the death scene.

  • Complicated Grief trained counselors who are trained in Complicated Grief.  Complicated Grief is a form of long term grief that up to 20% of suicide loss survivors get stuck in.  Complicated grief counselors generally work with people that are several months to several years out from their loss.  They utilize an intensive multi week program to help improve the lives of suicide loss survivors who feel like their life has gotten stuck after a long period of time and need help to heal.

Where can I find grief counseling near me?

• Speak With Your Personal Physician

  • Summary: Your physician can often prescribe medications to help you sleep, deal with stress or anxiety prior to you seeing a mental health provider .  Then can often also provide you referrals to a mental health provider.

• Ask Your Friends or Spiritual Adviser For A Referral

  • Summary: While this may be your first time looking for help, many of your friends have likely gotten help before for issues they have faced.

• NJ Psychological Association

  • Resource: Referral Service

  • Summary: They provide referrals to licensed psychologists

• NJ Psychiatric Association

  • Resource: Referral Service

  • Summary: Provides information about mental health and about how to choose a psychiatrist.

• PsychologyToday Psychiatrist Search

  • Resource: Referral Service

• PsychologyToday Therapist Search

  • Resource: Referral Service

• American Psychological Association

  • Resource: Webpage 

  • Summary: Locator service can also be reached at 1-800-964-2000.

• American Psychiatric Association

  • Resource: Webpage 

  • Summary You can also contact the referral service at apa@psych.org or call 1-888-357-7924 and press 0 to speak with a customer service representative

• National Association of Social Workers 

  • Resource: Website

  • Summary: Referral service also at helppro.com/HP/BasicSearch.aspx

• Drew University Referral List

  • Resource: Website

• Morris County Mental Health Services

  • Resource: Website

• Somerset County Mental Health Services

  • Resource: Webpage

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

  • Many people do not realize that you can also call the crisis hotlines 24 hours a day to talk to trained counselors about grief and the stresses in your life.  You do not have to be suicidal to call them.  

  • Call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) 

• Veterans Affairs 

  • Resource: Website

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration 

  • Resource: Webpage

  • Summary: Maintains lists of therapists as well as treatment centers 

• For low-cost options, visit the Mental Health America

  • Resource: Website

  • Summary: For low cost options, you can also call 1-800-969-6642

• If you have insurance coverage, you can contact your insurance carrier for in-network referrals

• Speak with your local school guidance department

• Contact the departments of psychiatry, psychology, or social work at your local university or hospital

There is Immediate Help Available

There are numerous crisis lines that you can reach out to speak with someone immediately.  Most calls to suicide crisis hotlines are not from people who are suicidal, most of their calls are people who are struggling with an emotional issue that is overwhelming them.  

It can be hard to find a friend to talk to at 2AM after you wake up from a nightmare and need a soothing voice to talk to.  The trauma of witnessing or discovering someone after a suicide death is an overwhelming emotional challenge for most people.  The various hotlines are there for you to call 24 hours a day and seven days a week.  They are trained and are awaiting your call.

• If you can't reach your existing counselor, or you don't have one, or you are in crisis, call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is there to help!   The hotline connects you live to talk by voice with a trained crisis volunteer.  First, you’ll hear a message telling you that you’ve reached the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  They will play you a little hold music while they connect you. A skilled, trained crisis worker who works at the Lifeline network crisis center closest to you will answer the phone.  This person will listen to you, understand how your problem is affecting you, provide support, and share any resources that may be helpful.

• If you prefer to not talk with some one on the phone, they have also have a confidential online chat service that you can type and talk online with a trained volunteer.  Click Here for the Lifeline Chat service

• If you don't feel comfortable talking in person, you can always use the Crisis Text Line. TEXT “HELLO” TO 741741 to begin to text chat with someone using your cellphone.  The first two responses are automated. They tell you that you're being connected with a Crisis Counselor, and invite you to share a bit more.  The Crisis Counselor is a trained volunteer, not a professional. They can provide support, but not medical advice.  It usually takes less than five minutes to connect you with a Crisis Counselor. (It may take longer during high-traffic times).  When you’ve reached a Crisis Counselor, they’ll introduce themselves, reflect on what you’ve said, and invite you to share at your own pace.

• The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has a program called HEALING CONVERSATIONS which was formerly known as the Survivor Outreach Program.  This program gives those who have lost someone to suicide the opportunity to talk with experienced volunteers. These AFSP volunteers, who are themselves survivors of suicide loss, offer understanding and guidance in the weeks and months following a suicide death. Available in person, on the phone or by video chat, volunteers are familiar with the isolation that so often accompanies a death of this kind, and are able to show suicide loss survivors a way forward into a world of support, by creating an opportunity for the newly bereaved to speak openly with, and ask questions of, someone who has been there, too, and truly gets it.

• Many faith leaders are trained to deal with tragic loss.  You can reach out to a local church or house of worship to speak with one of their religious leaders.  They generally do not care if you are an active participant at their services, they are available to chat with you in your time of need.